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After this post, Sabra asked which was my favorite. I had difficulty choosing one so I kept two for dust collectors/ studio inspiration. And because I have free time, I named them. The striped one on the left is Bandersnatch (a wonderland inspiration?) and the strong silent one on the right is Whooty Who (a woman’s codeword in singles bar, from a story my partner likes to tell).

I dont’t consider myself to be sentimental, but it appears there are different, unspoken rules where my creative work environment is concerned. There is an endless array of random clutter that serves no use other than to be present until it reveals it’s purpose to me at a later time. Most of these items are brought back from walks or hikes. Things like small cones, sticks ,rocks, feathers, and nuts. Fora time I was unaware of my habit of bringing these homes. I think the randomness of the items and the absence of a filing system made it more difficult for me to notice a pattern. It wasn’t until I became aware of how many small piles of natural materials were appearing in the bedroom, kitchen, studio, and bathroom that I realized I might need an intervention….but then I said “screw it” and moved everything to one location so it can be incorporated into future projects.

Poor Yorick actually has a higher purpose than posing as a Samali. He frequently spends his time modeling. At a brief glance it would be easy to presume a preoccupation with the macabre, but that isn’t the case. What I have is a small obsession with structure, and few are as interesting to me as the complexity of the human framework, both skeletally and cerebrally.

This stoneware armadillo is from my first art exchange. There was a small college art festival, and I printed some t-shirts by hand from a linoleum block for professors, students plus one extra. One of the festival demonstrators, an exceptional functional potter offered to trade a hand sculpted figure for the only remaining t-shirt, which I graciously accepted.

It’s difficult to look at this parting shot without thinking about a woman squatting in the woods, but the real story isn’t the figure (which by the way wasn’t intended to look as unsophisticated as the end result. The shapes intended to dictate the composition eventually became covered by the composition thus the painting of a pale backside). The rocks are from the California coast brought home for the purpose of stacking. I like to think of it as a natural indoor installation that is constantly evolving. They are stacked in random configurations, the only goal being balance. I could say it represents the fleeting nature and unpredictability of the human condition, but the real story is the tend to fall over frequently due to footsteps making the floor vibrate. For now with the painting serving as a backdrop, the pile of stones are an accurate means of measuring the humor of those who enter the space.

11.875″ X 9.5″
Oil on Panel

11.875″ X 9.5″
Oil on Panel


Favorite summer meal, Open face tomato sandwich with bacon & fresh mozzarella.

A true masculine chauvinist product of his generation, my FIL never could understand why I invested time in calla lilies instead of the edible delights practical gardening had to offer. It didn’t seem to matter that I didn’t have an adequate location for a vegetable patch. The back yard, too shady, and the front yard was under the fascist rule of the homeowners association. My green thumb… wasn’t. I’ve murdered enough basil, rosemary, and oregano to supply a chain of Italian restaurants for a year. I never succeeded with potted herbs. I just dried them…on the stems. Nonetheless, he felt I should enjoy the labors of vegetable gardening as much as he did.

What he might not have known, or possibly remembered, was I had a garden once. The summer I met his son, I attempted a small “bucket” garden behind my duplex. Half a dozen plants in five gallon buckets. Tomatoes and jalapeno peppers. I had visions of fresh salsa and open faced tomato sandwiches. The plants flourished. The tomato vines were so healthy I draped them over the clothes line to prevent the fruit from rotting.

Things went well, until I started spending more time with the one who was to become the Better Half. In my absence, the birds turned my garden into salad bar and pecking holes in each to tomato and absconding with all the peppers. The plants were healthy but naked. As if that wasn’t bad enough, my houseplants begin dying one by one until the only remaining live botanical was au succulent stuffed in an insufficient amount of potting soil.

In light of the results, I concluded that I was only qualified to nurture one relationship at a time and five gallon buckets were assigned other uses.

Perhaps I was hasty or superstitious, but it can be burdensome to nurture. Need nags and some withstand the drain better than others, not that it isn’t good to be needed… We are simply not allowed to quantify the dosage, and are left to cope with that which is thrust upon us.

At times I long to contribute to the myth that artistic endeavors are about capturing beauty, intense emotion, or harnessing passion but the unromantic aspect about it for some is simply that it is nothing more than another bottle to crawl out of, a welcome distraction, or solace we can unapologetically escape into from the rest of the world. In the absence of sentimentality, there can lie a functional purpose.

In this case the purpose is clear labeling for recycling bins. We don’t have curbside recycling here, and it is the responsibility of the occupant to deliver recyclables to town center and sort them according to classification in rows of dumpsters. Surprisingly community participation is higher than in areas of the county where curbside recycling is available.

There are attendants on site to assist the elderly and those with mobility issues. The town has contracted those positions to a local agency that specializes in placing people with special needs in jobs. For the community it a win-win.

img_7924xxAfter months spending time separating items on site and double and triple handling things, I accumulated enough cat litter containers to recycle accepted items. It worked well until the attendants cleaned out the back of my vehicle for me and tried to hijack my bins. It wasn’t malicious. They were simply trying to be of use and recycle all recyclable containers.

This prompted a labeling spree on my part. Form follows function, and though less passionate, clear identification improves communication. Each container has five labels, in order to cover all product labels and so that no matter how the bin is positioned the contents are easily visible. Of the five labels for each bin, there are three different illustrations done in gel pen and marker (mostly because I need the practice).

II don’t usually discuss the time I spend on a project, but this project took more time than I anticipated (weeks instead of days). When I finished spread the labels out to justify the labor and felt a little better about it…twenty-four different designs and forty illustrations in all.

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Technical Blah, Blah,Blah: The containers used are cat litter bins (35 -40 lb. capacity) with an attached hinged lid, which seal tightly and keep odors restrained (even kitchen compost). Each label is laminated to prevent moisture from damaging the illustrations. Label sizes are: 7.375″ x 6″, 5,5″ x 7.375″, and 7.5″ x 7.375″.

Below are samples of each label size and a finished product photo. If you wish to view a pdf file of all twenty-four different illustrations leave me a message in the comments and I will email you copy with the understanding that you are permitted to print out for your own personal use, but you are not permitted to distribute or claim credit for my designs in any way.brown1x
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I wonder how many marriages have disintegrated because of dirty clothes piled on the floor or an automobile that was denied regular oil changes.

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Working indoors when the weather starts improving, sucks.

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How stark is the contrast of the way other’s view us when compared to the way we view ourselves?

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Why congress is permitted to dictate the laws of the land when they are currently exhibiting all the professionalism of kindergartners.

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Is are ability to like others swayed by whether are not we can influence their behaviors which we don not like.

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How many friendships are dictated by convenience? Geography?

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I want oatmeal cookies with chocolate chips and dried cranberries.

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I forgot myself, between the pillow fluffing, and the requisite deep sigh that follows turning off the lamp. I paused recalling notion of prayer, then rolled over on my side to count sheep as if nothing had ever happened.

I haven’t prayed of my own volition in a long time. (The Better Half and I take turns giving thanks at meals, but I don’t consider appreciation to food providers to be in the same ball park as say, god please help relieve my gout and watch over my children.”) I observe the niceties and respectfulness of belief one learns to survive in the bible belt to prevent drawing condemnation. It my not sound like it, but I sincerely attempt to be respectful of other’s beliefs. I’ve nothing to gain by destroying another’s faith.

I grew up shadowing my parent’s beliefs. I didn’t think I had a choice. Not in the “If you don’t beg Jesus for forgiveness, I’m gonna get you with a switch..” kind of way, but in the “your only choice is vanilla” kind of way. When I got older, I read more and eventually abandon the flock, and thankfully most of the flock failed to notice.

When I tossed the vestiges of religion, the last item to strike the floor was prayer. I think part of the reason was it was ingrained; not like habitually parking on the same row at the grocery store, but more like taking the pill the same time every day. Eventually it evolved into something cathartic, like writing in a journal. An opportunity to organize your thoughts and empty your head in preparation for a solid night’s sleep, until finally I began unceremoniously turning the light switch and rolling onto my side.

When my father-in-law was in the last throes of lucidity, trying to manage my mother-in-law’s dementia outbursts, I remember him asking us to pray for them. I suspected that his desired outcome from prayer was a very specific one. Something akin to putting spilt milk back in the heifer. I put a lot of thought into the request of an emotionally battered old man, and even based upon my pre-libris beliefs, I had difficulty convincing myself that even if I believed in his god with the same faith as he, I would have difficulty conceiving of a being who would be willing to turn back the hands of time and present my FIL with the pre-demencial woman he loved, who baked him pies, bore him children, and praised his fishing prowess. Even if I prayed to his god on his behalf, and his god accepted the sincerity of an atheist the desired outcome….

My willingness to conform to the prescribed desire to offer prayers on behalf of others who thought they were in need, provided me a vehicle to avoid confrontation. I didn’t have anything to lose because I don’t believe in anything. But, I began wondering if I was violating my own desires to be respectful of others, by the omission of personal truth in submitting to another’s respect for prayer. Was I being disrespectful to the beliefs of friends and family, by offering the comfort of prayer to a god I didn’t believe in?

I always thought the hardest part about not believing would be the persecution. Not from everyone, but some. For each person who is respectful of differences in beliefs, there are those who are not, and face it, the most dogmatic are the ones who receive the most attention. The hardest part is trying to offer comfort to the people in your life who do believe, and expect a very specific flavor of comfort; prayer. I want to offer my support, my “best wishes”, and my desire for I brighter tomorrow, but I can’t always because I don’t believe the world works that way. There are times when there are no answers because life carries on.

I hope they can detect, I want only the best for them, offering respect that will not diminish their beliefs, nor mine.

I usually don’t have reservations about making decisions. I will make a choice, even if it is a poor one, and accept the consequences. Refusing to put on my big girl panties and say I was wrong, only prolongs the inevitable, not to mention, few people believe plaintive cries that abstain me from any culpability anyway.

I’m feeling indecisive about this one though. Is it better to be one who recognizes the unintentional acts that contribute to hurt feelings and righteous indignation, or is it better to be the recipient of such acts and the bearer of hurt feelings?

In the end I don’t think it matters, because both positions lack the ability alter whatever incident has left left people sniffling. And empathy, though really useful, lacks any tangible ability to turn back the hands of time and make things right. Apologies can be a step in the right direction, but seem trifle at times because everyone knows it is easier to get forgiveness than permission

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So, basically I spent ten hours in the car, and four days gasping for air with a chain smoker because people communicate in code, because my mother always couches the way she feels when speaking with my brother, my brother always remembers my sister frozen in adolescence with her drama queen ways, my sister in law is still suffering from chemo brain even though she is finished with her treatment and my sister was on her period. Nice. At least I wasn’t on center stage.

The problem with reading between the lines regarding what others need, is guessing wrong. At that point, you risk wasting your time, and theirs. Even worse, is downplaying it in your mind to the extent that someone doesn’t receive care they need. Can you live with yourself? Can you indefinitely saddle society or siblings with your responsibilities?

There are occasions when you have no choice but to waste time in order to get to the truth. I hate wasting time.

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By day two, it was obvious I was wasting my time. As the saying goes, my mother was milking it. She could have managed without me, but she wasn’t going to allow me to leave. This is humorous, because the woman is not a born manipulator. She will tell you what to do, and she will imply what you should do, but she will not trick you into doing it. She will however pout about it. It must suck to have kids who are as hard-headed as you are :)

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It’s good for family to be okay, even if they can’t see the things I see. It’s good for them to slow down, and not spend time worrying. It’s good for them to be relieved temporarily of their responsibilities. But mostly, it’s good to be back home.

img_6461xSunlight has been a scarce commodity of late. Rain, however, not so much. I’m not using a kayak to reach my mailbox, so I’ve no reason to complain. But I am surprised. Sure, it was raining when we left for New York seven days ago, but I didn’t expect it to rain all five days we were gone. Whoa.

As it turns out birdseed doesn’t actually grow birds, it grows wild grass. And the grass, keeps on keeping on.

Enough about the weather.

I mentioned New York. My first trip. I’ll spare you the itinerary. If you watch television, or read, you already know. I was hoping to see Avenue Q, but it went on hiatus a few days prior to our arrival. We saw this instead.

I knew nothing about it, other than the cast members. With a name like God of Carnage it sounded exactly like the sort of thing my grandmother would forbid me to see, so naturally I insisted on seeing it AND getting a t-shirt. That and musicals aren’t really my thing. Why sing along in pre-meditated artificial joy when you can watch skilled thespians behave badly and point fingers.

What can else can I say about New York that you don’t already know? Little. I can show the way I saw it.

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