Archives for category: cow tipping

‘TIs the season in which major cable networks re-invent the image of Jesus Christ the protestant lord and savior, in hopes of improving their ratings amidst the masses. I admit to finding the historical applications interesting, but it tends to feel contrived and cheapened by the underlying subjugation of christian devotion. In other word, the presentations prey on insecurity or sensitivity of believers rather than stand upon the merits of their ability to document and reinforce historical accuracy.

Yeah, I think someone has spent too much time evaluating cable offerings too.

When I was shopping in one of those deep discount stores, we all love to hate, but secretly solicit because, deep down we know it has replaced the manufacturing sector as one of the U.S’s most valuable employers, in spite of the fact they intentionally short worker’s hours so they won’t have to cover the cost of health insurance benefits, I noticed aisle after aisle of prefabricated Easter baskets, and it made me a little sad.

The Easter Bunny My mother, used to assemble a hodgepodge of chocolate bunnies, candy, little plastic holiday crap, balsa wood airplanes, punching balloons, stuffed animals and/or collectable beer steins (yes, really) into our baskets for Easter morning. They were personal, and I looked forward to them each year.

The prefabricated baskets at grocery and department stores came to represent what I believed to be baskets for kid whose parents didn’t share the same bed, or kids from broken homes, or kids whose parents worked really hard, but didn’t have enough of themselves remaining after five thirty on a Friday afternoon to say, “I love you”.

And yet plastic baskets covered in cellophane laced with action figures don’t really mean any of those things at all. They mean some marketing genius was trying to take advantage of working parents from all walks of life. But at the age of eight, I couldn’t visualize it for what it really was, capitalized convenience; I could only view it as some form of loss. I’m older and I understand things are not always as they seem, but it’s difficult to convince the inner eight year old.

In times of need, it is prudent to accept needed assistance without condition. Placing stipulations of personal preference, when someone offers you the unsolicited benefit of their time or influence is high maintenance and self-centered.

There is also help that costs too much, inflating the value of time, and shattering eardrums, with the inundation of glory days and the unwritten requirement of entertaining and providing a measurable amount of grief to casual onlookers.

It’s official. I’m ungrateful. Feel free to chide me for my lack of decorum, but don’t be surprised by the absence of guilt on my part.

I’m sick of staying with my husbands pre-marital outlaws. In the interest of being fair, they have been excellent hosts. They have fed, watered, and offered transportation, but I am sick of listening to the same tired stories about how smart they are, and how stupid the rest of the world is. I don’t give a good god damn if I ever hear another word from their mouths about my husband’s ex-wife or ex-inlaws. His kids don’t discuss them as much as this couple does, and the. I don’t need anymore non-recipricating relationships in my life.Thanks, but I’m all full-up.

I’ve made it clear to my spouse, I don’t hold him responsible for his friend’s conduct, but I don’t think I should be expected to be present for these performances. They have no interest in me as a person, only a captive audience in their self-narrated sitcom, and I won’t be an unconditional listener.

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We returning home until my FIL begins deteriorating more quickly, or until, well, you know, happens. My pets deserve to be coddled. I need to be reminded of what my bed feels like, and maybe, just maybe I’ll be home long enough for a decent hike.

When necessity dictates the return visit, I will be staying elsewhere, even if it means curling up on the floor in the fetal position (of course, it won’t actually come to that.). My husband can handle the situation with his outlaws as he sees fit, provided he doesn’t stuff my mouth with sentiments I would not articulate.

I offered to handle the matter myself, but I suspect he fears my directness will reflect poorly upon him. My husband has many strengths, but worrying about the manner in which others perceive him isn’t one of them.

What does it really matter what someone else thinks, when they can’t be bothered with listening to all the details in the first place?

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