I’m not one for making New Year’s resolutions. If changes are necessary to be more fulfilled, I shouldn’t be so blasé as to submit to ritualistic peer pressure and publicly vow to improve life once a year. What good is existing, if I restrict myself from adapting as necessary, except for one day a year when I stay up past my bed time under the guise of celebrating the advent of a new scientific billing cycle which professes with the aid of rose colored glasses to be nothing like the previous 365 day billing cycle?

The reality is I should make the effort to change slightly every day rather than save it all up for the abysmal failure that is public proclamation after consuming one too many Patr*n cosmos. As for anyone who wishes to challenge themselves to change from January 1, I am there for you. Seriously. I’ll buy a cocktail and encourage you through the rough times, or bring you cookies, if your trying one of those radical twelve step thingies. If you’re committed to going back to school, I will cheer you through finals. If your searching for your long lost birth parents, I will exhaust all possibilities combing through public records and googling. My support knows few boundaries. Except maybe joining a gym. I prefer not to think of it as a boundary and more of a pothole. A pothole I’d rather avoid than drive through.

I’ll be more than happy to stand next to the treadmill and cheer you on as you reach your target heart rate. I’ll even tell you how puffy your arms are after you lift weights, but the problem is it tends to appear creepy fellow patrons the staff out when people like me are standing around with a megaphone and not actually sweating, since drinking coffee doesn’t usually elevate your heart rate.

I think gyms are great….just not for me. All that shiny equipment you can borrow, that sense of commitment carefully enveloped in purpose, and eventually sprinkled with healthier eating, more energy, and some really hideous exercise attire. It’s the perfect ensemble, like a marriage with motivation, desire, and endorphins. The problem…I’m just not that into it.