Comments on: Trends

By: jaded

jaded — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 02:31:02 +0000

meno, i suck at charades, at least that’s what everyone thinks.

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De, out of the mouths of babes. I was raised to anticipate, and do where my mother is concerned…I can’t stand the thought of listening to that same disapproving tone I heard when I was eleven and washed the dishes wrong. Still sends chills down my neck.

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Bob, couples are notorious for those expectations. Sometimes it’s a test of how well you know your partner, other times it’s that humble problem about not wanting to ask. The point is it goes both ways. She says fruit cake, he says oil change…

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Maggie, I think sometimes women, are intuitive because they want reciprocal consideration from their mates. It isn’t that partners are trying to be selfish, but men don’t communicate the same way women do. Men are more direct. And or the record…I’ve stewed too, but asking turned out to be more efficient.

By: Maggie

Maggie — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 11:53:36 +0000

Flip of the coin. I get annoyed that a guy who used to jump at any undone job so much that I had to ask him to stop now and then and sit to talk or eat dinner with the rest of us. Now, extra work hanging around gets completely ignored. Why? Well despite all his claims of not being a beer drinking TV watching jerk of a husband – he is however a computer addicted guy who runs to it immediately after dinner. At least lately. And then he says, “If you need help why don’t you ask for it?” Hmmm. I could. But I wonder why it doesn’t dawn on him that while he’s playing on the computer, I’m making dinner. And while he’s working on the computer, I’m cleaning the kitchen after dinner and supervising chores and bedtimes. To be honest it doesn’t happen all the time, but more often lately that it has begun to grate on my nerves. The smart thing would have been to take him aside and talk to him about it. But I stewed instead. Didn’t help much.

By: Bob

Bob — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 20:17:22 +0000

I’m with you – I don’t like guessing what someone wants. Ask me for what you want from me. In the case of my wife, though, I am expected to know what she wants, she should not have to ask. To a degree, I see her point – I should be paying attention and know what color she prefers or that she likes fruit cake from Collin Street Bakery. I guess I’m enough of a male that I’m lazy in this area – I’d prefer that you just tell me what you want and that way I will always get it right.

By: De

De — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 20:07:43 +0000

My sister is 55 this year and my mother STILL tells the story of when she once asked her if she would help around the house and my sister replied, “Tell me when you want me to help – don’t ask if I want to.”

I’ll admit to being one of those kind who do try to anticipate what others want. You might think that’s frustrating for me, but I think it’s much more annoying for my husband… who apparently wants nothing, ever, as he doesn’t speak.

By: meno

meno — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 18:57:55 +0000

I’m going to LET you read my comment.

My working theory is that people don’t like to ask for anything, so they hint around, which is much more annoying because then you are left to guess at what they might want. I’m good at deflecting these things too. That’s the nature of passive/aggresive!