Have you ever had one of those moments when an idea permeates your gray matter, relentlessly nagging you until you cave? This is like that, only it involves heavy whipping cream and cognac. Not foreplay for the brain, but for the taste buds. The better half and I were eating dinner on the couch, as is frequently the case since we have spent so much time together in the past few weeks, we have almost completely exhausted all civil discourse reserved for meals. The television was on and the characters were becoming uncharacteristically obsessed with food. Steak au poive to be exact. My partner had to know, what is the steak au poive and should he be eating it?

After a quick web search, he concluded we should try it, so we gathered a list of ingredients and settled on this recipe. Aside from the kitchen fire, I didn’t deviate from the recipe. I even made a special trip to the liquor store for cognac.

The preparations were straight forward and trouble free, until it was time to prepare the cream sauce. I lifted the skillet off the burner to add the cognac. You already know where this going, right? Immediately the alcohol flamed, without any encouragement from a combustion source, and three foot flames rose from the pan, around the stove hood, tracing the cabinet doors. I backed away from the stove, with the pan, and went about the business of efficiently extinguishing the flames, both in the pan and on the counter top before calling my partner in to wisk the cream before I busted my ass on the kitchen floor in the small puddle of cognac at my feet.

After checking for singed hair and the presence of eye brows, the Mister asked why I didn’t call him sooner. I responded that it simply wouldn’t have worked. When your dousing the flames that have consumed your entrée, you don’t have time to explain why, lest you singe all the hair from your arms, and set the whole fucking kitchen on fire. Sometimes reactions are more important than explanations.

I have never seen that much fire in a residential kitchen, much less been the cause of it. Strangely the means justified the tenderloin. Just keep a fire extinguisher available should you follow my example.

* Television is evil.