Comments on: Good Grief

By: jaded

jaded — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 15:25:54 +0000

Bob, it depends. She is more likely to heed suggestions from men than women. But when it comes to her adult children, she tends to dismiss us like we are still tweens. She is set in her ways. I accepted, years ago, I would never earn much in the way credibility with her because she changed my diapers. It’s harder to deal with on a one on one match up, and much easier when all my siblings are there to diffuse the unwanted criticism. As for taking it quietly…I didn’t.

*******

meno, that’s me, mirror mirror on the wall.

By: meno

meno — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 23:07:05 +0000

You were there to serve as a mirror back to her of her intentions, not as an individual in your own right.

I hate it when people ask for help, and then reject any input. Brings out the beast in all of us.

By: Bob

Bob — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 14:08:36 +0000

There is nothing more frustrating than being asked for your opinion just to have it utterly rejected every time. gah.

Does your mother have a similar disregard for the advice or opinions of those who aren’t related to her? Maybe you aren’t being singled out for this rudeness. It doesn’t make it any easier to bear, but maybe it makes it a bit less personal, that you aren’t being singled out for this special treatment.

As she isn’t likely to change, is there any way you can find to make the relationship between you two any better? As in, for lack of anything better, avoiding in future these situations that place you on the receiving end of so much of her disapproval? It doesn’t mean you have to lie down and continue to let her treat you this way – but maybe by looking at the way you two interact in a different way, while not necessarily making the relationship better, it might make you feel better for having tried – and make her treatment of you a bit easier to take.

In any case – I’m sorry you had a lousy visit with your mom.