Comments on: Proper Responses

By: jaded

jaded — Thu, 07 May 2009 03:35:18 +0000

De, a traveling spouse has its perks, but I tend to forget what they are once day four passes. ***** meno, maybe later, after the rain stops. If you haven't mastered it that gives me hope. Now I can live with the consolation of knowing I have twenty years to perfect my sulking.

By: meno

meno — Tue, 05 May 2009 15:59:52 +0000

Where is the picture of the project that would not end?

The art of working together is a delicate one. Also one we have yet to fully master at our house. Sometimes it works, sometimes not so much.

At least it’s done.

By: De

De — Tue, 05 May 2009 15:10:23 +0000

Oh, the things I could do if my micro-manager went away once in a while.

By: jaded

jaded — Tue, 05 May 2009 14:34:46 +0000

Bob, this project was too big to let him sink or swim on his own. I’m physically able, so…I need to work on not letting his management style get under my skin. Unfortunately that will mean ignoring him which will probably cause other problems

**********

De, that sounds familiar. When my husband leaves for longer business trips I tackle large projects. I don’t have to listen to him obsess, and he doesn’t have to watch me storm out of the room. I know people who have the good sense not to complain constantly when they have free labor, but I didn’t marry one them.

By: De

De — Mon, 04 May 2009 15:24:59 +0000

Perhaps a few drinks on a beautiful spring evening will help?

I find it amazing what I can live with – for years! – and how quickly I forget how bad things were as soon as they are repaired or replaced.

My husband is this close to being a complete jackass. I am finally cleared for interior painting (probably because he is sick of it), but forbidden from any kind of yard work. But I have to listen to him stress and rant and pray to be electrocuted by the hot tub because there is so much to do.

By: Bob

Bob — Mon, 04 May 2009 03:12:56 +0000

That is probably why my wife and I don’t do big projects together – I have a tendency to micromanage from my position of “superior knowledge”. That, and she cannot stand to be around when things don’t go exactly as I planned and start cussing! She knows that I’ll fix it, but she can’t help panicking all the same. So – she lets me do things myself and is nice enough (or smart enough, both I suspect) to praise the finished product.

Although, having been a manager at work for quite a long time now has taught me that I have to assign projects and then let my people do their thing. Mine isn’t the only way of getting things done, and as long as company standards are adhered to I have to allow them to perform. It is frustrating – and humbling – to see people solve problems in ways I wouldn’t have and recognize that their way was probably better than mine.

I’m sorry that the experience is robbing you of the ability to enjoy the finished product or of any satisfaction of a job completed. Maybe future such projects should be solo ones? Or maybe some sort of pre-negotiated terms under which you would participate? Good luck in any case.