The Occasional Suit

Since my FIL was stable, we returned home Monday evening to attend to personal matters, wash clothes, and check on Satan’s evil minions (the four-legged ones). I was searching the closet for appropriate attire if or perhaps when it becomes necessary to plant my FIL. I smiled as I recalled the last occasion I wore my black suit.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that I lack awareness of all things fashionable. I favor functionality over stylishness. You can’t climb a kitchen cabinet in a dress or scale a fence, so I have little use for feminine attire. In the interest of pragmatism, I keep a black pant suit in the closet, just in case. Fortunately, in case means happy celebrations, as well as, necessary evils.

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I last wore the suit to my mate’s aunt and uncle’s 50th wedding celebration. Fifty years. It’s difficult to comprehend spending half a century with the same person, especially since I haven’t been alive that long. Having donned business casual for the celebration of life, it is only appropriate the pendulum should be dictated by gravity to swing in the opposite direction.

After issuing congratulations to the aunt and uncle, we made an impromptu decision to visit my brother unannounced.

As we approached the door, my brother walked out, and said in an stiff tone, “Can I help you?”.

Not one to ignore a tense vibe, I presumed we came to visit at a bad time. I continued to approach with the intent of speaking and departing quickly. I said something to the effect of being in town, and thought I would say hello but since it seemed inconvenient, we would be leaving.

Upon recognizing my voice, my brother’s face relaxed and he smiled. “Ah, shit! I didn’t recognize you all dressed up. I can’t see as well when I wear my glasses. I thought you guys were Jehovah’s Witnesses. Come on in and visit.”

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It feels weird selecting appropriate attire for a service that isn’t yet necessary. I don’t think the boy scouts were referring to funerals, when they coined the motto about the importance of preparedness. So much for being prepared. Wednesday AM we return to wait.

6 Responses to “The Occasional Suit”

  1. De Says:

    The last thing anyone needs is stress over what to wear, in my opinion, though I am not much of a shopper.

  2. Bob Says:

    can’t go wrong with basic black.

  3. sari Says:

    After being a stay at home mom for the last 7 years, I’m not much prepared for that sort of thing, either.

  4. rachel Says:

    Don’t have to worry about being fashionable so long as you have classic basics. They never go out, and if they fit, you’ll never need to shop again.

    Even if you look like a religious proselytizer.

  5. meno Says:

    What a great story to go along with your suit.

  6. jaded Says:

    De, funerals are like gifts, it’s the thought that counts. I’m not above showing up in jeans. Been there and done that.

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    Bob, I like a look that never goes out of fashion.

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    sari, you don’t have to stay at home very long before your wardrobe completely transforms.

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    rachel, I never considered how effective a suit could be to shield you from the rest of the world. Now I know, and I may use this power for goo, or not…

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    meno, I like the idea that I confuse family when I dress for success.

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